Lucy and Asa’s sweet partnership in marriage spilled over into their life of ministry. There were clearly defined roles for men and women back in New England, but here in Hawaii, they both pitched in to do whatever needed to be done. Being partners in ministry drew them closer as husband and wife.
Their first adventurous challenge occurred when the Holmans left the Big Island in July, and the Thurstons were the only white people staying on the island for three months. The king would only allow them to teach English to a few royal persons of his choosing. So Lucy would teach the younger brother of the king, and Asa would also teach English and travel about the island with Hopu, trying to engage people in conversation. During this three-month period, once an idol-worshipping drunken priest barged into their hut when Lucy was alone and chased her around the hut. She was reluctant to leave because the Hawaiians were constantly trying to steal their possessions. Finally she does leave, and runs right into Asa’s arms as he is rushing back to save her, having been alerted by some of the Hawaiians. This traumatic experience further drew them together because they didn’t have anyone else to lean on.
When they received a copy of Watt’s children’s catechism translated into Hawaiian from Hiram Bingham in Honolulu, Lucy asked Asa if they could start a Sunday school. They decide that Lucy will teach Sunday School with Honolii right after Sunday worship, and that Asa will take their daughters home and teach them the catechism himself.
I love how this event plays out in Lucy and Asa’s lives. It reflects so many of their deep commitments. While the demands of life and ministry undoubtedly pull Asa away from the home, they seize an opportunity for Asa to have some one-on-one time with their own children. They recognize that Lucy loves to teach, and with Honolii there to help with matters of translation and culture, she is capable of teaching the catechism to whomever decides to stay after morning worship.
Finally, Lucy and Asa work together to solve one of their greatest challenges on the mission field: raising their children in godliness. When they return back to Kona on the Big Island after three years with the other missionaries in Honolulu, God gives Lucy an idea to build a hut with more than one room and to add an enclosed yard. Lucy and Asa were not paranoid for their children’s safety, but they took their role as disciple-makers of their children seriously. They believed what missionary William Ellis of Tahiti told them, that children needed to be sheltered from the ungodly influence of the natives.
Their unique solution to the problem of protecting their children further drew them together as a couple.
As I look at modern marriages today, husbands and wives spend most of their days apart; the husband works in one location, and the wife works in another. They return home in the evening, tired. Someone needs to make supper or they eat on the run as they hurry to their kids’ games. The life of a modern American is a busy one. Our culture demands it from us.
I encourage women to re-evaluate their relationship with their husbands. In my experience, parenting together isn’t enough to draw a husband and wife closer together. My relationship with my husband really blossomed when we started working on a project together. For us, it was years ago when our oldest child was a teenager and we started a youth group at our church. We found out pretty quickly that I liked planning activities and he liked working on the Bible study. At the end of each session, he would take the boys and I would take the girls, and we had separate prayer time with the youth. Spending time planning the youth group meetings drew us together in a way that just parenting our kids did not. I know that some couples work on a house project together, planning what they want to do and then working together on the project.
Whatever your interests as a couple, I encourage you to pray about your relationship and ask God to give you ideas on what you could do together to draw you closer.