The marriage of Lucy and Asa developed into a sweet partnership in life and ministry. The old stereotypes of women in the early 19th century being slaves to their husbands is certainly not true in the case of the marriages of the pioneer missionaries to Hawaii. Lucy and Asa were companions in the deepest sense, as evidenced by their letters and journal entries. A speedy courtship did not prove to be a deterrent to marital bliss.
From the voyage on the Thaddeus, Lucy writes to her family:
March 20, 1820
When I gave my hand in marriage to Mr. Thurston, and came out from my father’s house, to go far away to a land unknown, I felt assured of the care and friendship of one precious friend. But my expectations have been more than realized. To be connected with such a husband, and engaged in such a purpose, is, of all stations of life, what I choose.
A few years later, Lucy wrote a letter to Asa when he was about to sail to another Hawaiian island with the king. In this letter she thanks him for the farewell letter that he wrote to her, and encourages him in his language learning.
Oct. 20, 1822
My dear, dear, husband:
Your tender farewell note I have just received My feelings prompt me to reply. Yes, the same Divine Providence which, in a mysterious manner, connected us in marriage and placed us in the missionary field, has now called us, for the first time, to separate.
…My heart will keenly feel your absence, my friend, my husband. I shall find an unspeakable happiness in often commending you to our heavenly Father in prayer.
…I shall think of you often, and of the privations you will suffer in the cause of Him who did not have the place to lay his head.
May God comfort you by his divine presence, and make you instrumental in bringing many to a knowledge of that salvation which Christ died to purchase.
Adieu.
Your loving wife.
I shall give one more example. Serving one another in marriage, when one spouse is ill, is one of the greatest challenges a marriage will face. Lucy was struck with illness several times in her life. She had recurring bouts with tuberculosis, she had strokes from time to time, and she gave birth to their fourth child on a boat. In all of these instances, her main caretaker was her husband, Asa. She writes about how tenderly he cared for her after the birth of their first child, Persis, when she was struck with tuberculosis again. Lucy was sick in bed for weeks, and when her strength returns, she writes the following in her journal:
Again, I can hold my pen and write, but I had wondered if I would ever be well enough to write again.
When in a weakened state after the birth of my daughter, a slight cough commenced, and then it increased. I knew its features. It seemed to look at me, mocking, and say: “I have tracked you from your father’s house, have waited, and watched for my opportunity to seize you.”
The state of my health became critical. There was no physician in the Kingdom of Hawaii.
But thanks be to God, I was tenderly nursed. The other ladies at the missionary station were kind, but my principal care was done by my husband. He nursed me as a mother would.
It is an important qualification of a missionary to understand how to gird himself with a towel, and with skill and tenderness to wash the disciples’ feet.
Reading Lucy’s actual words is a powerful demonstration of her and her husband’s devotion to each other. Their marriage was one of caring and commitment. What a beautiful example of the union of Christ and the church, which she alludes to when she references Jesus washing the disciples’ feet in John 13.
In the next post, I will write about how Lucy and Asa were partners in ministry as well.